Tango path

I feel my tango isn't evolving as it should. I can see how I am being a bit trapped in technicalities for the time being. It's keeping me from fully improvising to the music and to generate new ways to move around. This is partially due to the fact that my technique shortcomings still rank high on my things to improve :)

This is why I am becoming a bit tired of some classes. Of so much input to parse and let it grow in me. But specially, because I see that this Tango thing is hard. I'm musical, I'm sensitive and gentle, but I still lack technique. I feel thankful for the fact that I am very musical, which has made "well-known" followers ask me directly for a dance (how anti-cabeceo!!). Me, on the other hand, would never have. I always feel they just want to dance with the best dancers and doesn't feel right to me to ask them. To rob them away from a great tanda with a great dancer.

But it is hard because no matter where you are in your tango stage, you always want to narrow down what is currently annoying you. What you really need to improve on. And why do you need to? Because every time you finish a tanda with a great dancer - be it technically or musically - you always feel you could have done a bit better. You could have given the woman a better dance. You feel that deep down, you may have disappointed her a bit.

It is only healthy if you want to improve to give the women better dances, not for your own ego. But those two are tricky to separate and wishful thinking is easy...

My biggest fear

Is that the woman I've most enjoyed watching lately won't have any chemistry with me. What I most desire is for her to have the smile I've seen on her face while dancing with me.

I am yet very padawan to venture asking her. And my shyness will always out-grow my abilities.

Current status:

Dancing more than ever before.

I am now going to practicas more seriously and really focusing on my shortcomings. I am worrying more about the technique and trying to figure out what works with followers and how to find my own style. It's still very hard for me to realize when I'm failing to lead or when the follower is not actually following. There are definitely different schools of thoughts and it's very hard to find out what is going on when you dance with someone with a different mindset.

I normally like to start by walking outside and if the follower immediatly goes for the cruzada, then she's in auto-pilot mode (which sucks for many reasons). If that doesn't happen then I need to kind of figure out how much do I need to lead to get her to cross. My dissociation is still not automatic, which means that if I'm worried about something else, it's not there as it should.

I can't even walk as I want to walk. Never thought it would be so hard to just walk. I love the challenge.

The first lesson

I still remember the first round of lessons. The loss of my tango virginity. The teachers were a very funny couple that were a joy to have classes with. They still teach but I have not yet taken any more classes with them. Every teacher has their own style and strengths and right now I'm learning from teachers that mainly focus on technique. It's all good.

Of all my friends I convinced to join me in my tango lessons I am the only one left. Most of them had a lot more dancing experience than I, including salsa, ballet and all kinds of ballroom.